Lagoon at Ngunguru

Lagoon at Ngunguru is a poem written as an exercise. I have three versions here, each using different line lengths, with only minor changes to the text. I have maintained three stanzas in each version.

Lagoon at Ngunguru
A spit in the sea, a dribble of sand,
white tussocked and strong,

haunt of hidden birds, their soft secret calls
skimming the surface, crying over

water, smooth, polished and buffed
for crossing with delicate footsteps.


Lagoon at Ngunguru
spit in the sea
dribble of sand
white tussocked
strong

haunt of hidden birds
soft secret calls
skimming the surface
crying

water so smooth
polished and buffed
for crossing with delicate
footsteps


Lagoon at Ngunguru

spit
in the sea
dribbling
sand
white
tussocked
strong

haunt
of hidden birds
soft
secret calls
skim
the surface
crying

water
so smooth
polished
buffed
for crossing
with delicate
footsteps


The line length changes the speed of reading. Interestingly I find the first slower to read on the page, but faster to read aloud. I prefer the second version because it splits the observations into line-sized chunks, but the coupling of ideas in the first version has an appeal,as does the detail offered by the third version, with one “concept” on each line. The third version also provides a fulcrum at the mid-point, the line “secret calls” as well as pleasing mid-points for each stanza.